When it comes to words of encouragement, I’m sure you’ve heard the saying,“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Most of us can remember times when we have been subjected to hurtful words, careless comments or victims of gossip. We also know how painful those times can be.
I’ve had things said to me that I couldn’t shake. I would find myself lying in bed at night, rehearsing those words over and over again. Words indeed are powerful. They carry the ability to hurt or heal. Words can either build or chip away at the foundation of our marriages.
When psychologists Cliff Nortarius and Howard Markman studied newlyweds over the first decade of marriage, they discovered that couples who stayed together uttered 5 or fewer put-downs in every 100 comments to each other. But couples who inflicted twice as many verbal wounds — 10 or more putdowns out of every 100 comments — later split up.
As husbands, it is your words of encouragement that help define your marriage. There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” As you speak words of life to your spouse, you are cleansing them from the words of discouragement. You are freeing them from words of criticism, bringing them comfort and joy.
It’s taken me years to figure this out. ( you’re right I am slow)! But, I have seen the heaviness of life lift off Bonnie when I have taken the opportunity to speak words of praise, faith and love to her.
Words of encouragement not only apply to your marriage, but in all your relationships. Author Jerome P Fleishman says,“Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement -and we will make the goal.”
Fuel the hearts of your friends with words of life and hope. Talk up the people around you. Look daily for opportunities to offer praise to your spouse. There’s no telling the miracles you will witness. At the very least, you’ll never be lonely.
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