By Michael & Bonnie Fehlauer
1. Difference One – Facts vs. Feelings: Between men and women the most obvious difference is men love to share facts, women share feelings.
- To the Men – Be willing to enter her world of emotions. The facts are not as important to her as you being willing to listen to her. Be patient and allow her the time to express her feelings.
- To the Women – His desire to get to the facts is not necessarily an expression of a lack of genuine concern. Men are problem solvers. He just wants to “fix it” by giving you a solution.
2. Difference Two – Independent vs. Interdependent: Men tend to be independent, women interdependent
- To the Men – As you are launching out to conquer your world keep in mind she is trying to figure where she fits in. The smartest thing you can do is include her; give her ownership and let her add her abilities to yours.
- To the Women – Keep in mind, men were created to be conquerors. They are designed to hunt, provide and dominate their world. This drive is a natural part of who they are as men. Even though it may need to be tempered, be sure to celebrate this characteristic in your husband.
3. Difference Three – Doing vs. Talking: Another difference between men and women is that men connect by doing things together, women by talking with each other
- To the Men - Barbara Grizzuti Harrison says, “Women’s propensity to share confidences is universal. We confirm our reality by sharing.” Once again as we discussed in point number one, there is no way you will be able to connect with her on a meaningful level without going through this process. Healthy communication in relationships is key in gaining a better understanding of the differences between men and women.
- To the Women – There is something to be said for “timing” when it comes to bringing up certain subjects with your partner. Also, since men tend to connect by doing things together, be willing to share his interests. This may mean seeing a movie you don’t really like, but it will go miles in preparing him to connect with you on a deeper emotional level.
4. Difference Four – Compete vs. Cooperate: Another major difference between men and women is the fact that men tend to compete, women tend to cooperate
- To the Men – It requires some maturity and personal growth to realize that the things she is better at than you don’t subtract, but rather add to your life.
- To the Women – I heard it said once that the health of relationships is maintained by not only knowing what to say, but also what not to say. With this thought in mind, is it better sometimes to let him win? I’ll let you decide that one.
5. Difference Five – Controlling vs. Connecting: Men can be controlling, women tend to remain agreeable to stay connected.
- To the Men – It is not your place to try to “manage” her. To avoid a co-dependent relationship, it is important to allow her to be who God created her to be – with all her differences. The richest life we can experience is found in relinquishing control and trusting God with our relationship.
Conclusion
The differences between men and women are a reason for celebration. The beauty of the distinctions between men and women can be likened to the genius of the different parts of the human body having unique functions, yet contributing to the health of the whole body.
Additional Resources
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