relationship builder

By Michael Fehlauer

1. Be accepting - You can’t examining effective relationship tips without addressing the issue of unconditional  acceptance. The most common mistake is not recognizing the difference between acceptance and approval. It is one thing to approve of something; it is another to accept someone.

We approve or disapprove of “things” (behavior, actions, and lifestyles) we accept “people”. One doesn’t cancel the other. Having long term healthy relationships requires accepting others, even if we don’t approve of their decisions.

Many relationships have become a fatality to an attitude of judgment. Even in situations where someone we care about is making self-destructive choices, it is not the rejection of who they are they brings about change. One quote I read says; “We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.”

2. Be gracious - According to Webster, graciousness is marked by an attitude of kindness and courtesy. Graciousness communicates easy approachability.

It’s easy to focus on people’s imperfections. Being gracious allows freedom for people to be themselves. Once we create an atmosphere where others don’t feel need the need to be guarded, then we are able to connect with them on a deeper level.

3. Give people room to make mistakes - Along with the previously listed relationship tips, it’s important to give people permission to make mistakes. Extend the same mercy and grace you would like to receive. If you develop the characteristic of graciousness, you’ll have no difficulty in making friends.

4. Develop a good sense of humor - As a result of our own insecurities; we become preoccupied with our image or reputation. This can cause us to become overly critical of ourselves and others.

Finding your security in God’s love enables you to see the humor in situations. When you don’t feel the need to always protect or defend yourself, those around you become more comfortable. When you understand your worth is found in Him, you laugh easier and smile more often.

5. Be generous – Nelson Henderson says, “The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.” Giving to others, with no strings attached, communicates worth to them and adds value to their lives. Look for daily opportunities to “plant a tree” in someone’s life.

6. Be yourself – Don’t attempt to be someone you are not. Be realistic about your strengths and weaknesses. I’m not talking about settling for the status quo in your life. You should have personal goals that you are striving toward. At the same time, you must avoid the temptation of giving false impressions of who you are. When you are comfortable in “your own skin”, those around you relax and feel more secure.

7. Add value to others – When exploring additional relationship tips, it is vital to remember that people either add to our lives, or subtract from our lives. Likewise, we do the same. The art of making friends and maintaining healthy relationships, involves recognizing opportunities we have to add value to the lives of those around us.

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