By Michael Fehlauer
1. The obvious problem is rarely the real problem – Typically what we think is the relationship killer -finances, our partner, or our careers – isn’t the real problem. The emotions of anger, anxiety or frustration are symptoms – just like the pain we experience in our body is often a symptom of a greater issue.
2. In most cases, the core relationship killer lies in the area of fear – Fear is a part of our humanity. It is a part of what the Bible describes as our fallen nature. Fear is the first negative emotion Adam and Eve experienced after they disobeyed God and ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” [Genesis 3:8-10]
Just as fear brought shame to Adam and Eve, weakening their relationship, fear has the potential of destroying our relationships as well.
3. We all deal with the relationship killer of fear to some degree – Because of this fallen nature of mankind, we all deal with some degree of fear –fear of intimacy, of rejection and of failure.
4. You can break the driving force of fear – You can find victory over the paralyzing effects of fear. In 1 John 4:18 we read, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
The opposite of fear is not faith, but love. It is the understanding of God’s unconditional love that gives you the confidence to move beyond your fears and to love others. When you are convinced of God’s love, then you feel you can afford to extend yourself to others. God’s love gives you the inner security to risk rejection and failure in your relationships.
There is a great quote by Mother Teresa that articulates overcoming fear in order to love others unconditionally: “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
It‘s quite in here! Why not leave a response?