Parenting advice from Animal Planet? Last week my oldest son, and Killer Whale aficionado, recorded a show called Orca School. We watched it together until I couldn’t take anymore.

In one part of the story, the savvy Orcas are hunting new born sea lion pups by charging up watery channels and practically beaching themselves to nab the defenseless pups. It was heart wrenching and quite disturbing because my son was giggling. He is awestruck, gleefully admiring the power of the ocean’s top predator. They are fabulous creatures. The show chronicled how the more experienced Orcas train younger whales to use this beaching technique that goes against every instinct. They are masterful hunters and excellent teachers.

Sea lion pups are fortunate to have a mother’s care in their early days. One scene pictured a stubborn little pup trying desperately to get in the water. He was fought off by his devoted momma who pushed him plop for plop away from the water’s edge. She could see the dark black dorsal fin of an Orca off shore and she knew what that meant. He barked at her and bit her neck and she barked back and pushed him away to safety. What a good momma! Then the camera shot widened to show another pup bounding alone for the beckoning waves. This momma turned over her shoulder and barked at the motherless pup but kept a strong stance in holding back her own baby.

Sure enough the Orca charges and the hapless unwatched pup is no more. More giggling, sheesh! I guess the reality is the Orca matriarch is not killing for the sake of killing. The pod needs food. Her baby weighs in at 400 lbs. The beach is her grocery store and she makes as many trips as it takes to feed the family.  Mothering is a big job. You learn to pick up parenting advice every where you can!

The following is simple parenting advice we can learn from a Sea Lion momma:

1. Children do not always see what their parents see. We are larger and can see farther.

2. Children do not always know what their parents know. Life experience has taught us to avoid certain situations.

3. Sometimes “no” means I love you, I care for you, and I’m doing my best to protect you.

4. When you see other kids doing what you want to do, be grateful that you are not left alone to fend for yourself.

5. If you bark at me, I just might bark back…ha…I like that one.

6. You will probably bite me some day, but even when you hurt me I will not abandon you.

7. For as long as I am stronger than you, I will use that strength for your good and stand in between you and the danger ahead.

8. You won’t understand every decision I make but I hope you can trust that I am FOR YOU!

We want to hear from you: How well do you manage your protective instincts? Have there been times where you have “gone too far?” Have there been times where you feel you haven’t gone far enough?  Comment below.

Lynn Marie Cherry – I have recently said good bye to my 30’s. I am married nearly 20 years now to the same great guy, bringing up boys, loving my family and the loving the Lord! Read more at http://LynnMarieCherry.blogspot.com/

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Nothing can bring more fear and pleasure than the challenges of parenting. We instinctively realize we carry with us the future hopes and dreams of our children. We are also painfully aware of our parents’ mistakes and we desperately don’t want to make the same ones.

This site will offer you practical parenting advice in the area of parenting teens as well as general parenting tips that will help create a healthy environment for your home.

We believe you will receive the help necessary to navigate your children through their developmental years, creating an atmosphere that allows them to reach their fullest potential (while we maintain our own personal sanity).

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Looking for parenting tips? The following principles not only apply to teenagers, but are also relevant for children throughout their developmental years.

1. When your child confesses their temptations or sins, don’t act shocked.Remember you did some pretty stupid things when you were younger. Tell your son or daughter about some of the mistakes you made. Be vulnerable and admit your own failures.

2. Don’t compare your child with their friends. Your child doesn’t want to feel as if you are defining their value based on their accomplishments or behavior. Love and accept them unconditionally. Offer loads of encouragement rather than constantly criticizing them.

3. Don’t compare them with their siblings. Your children need to know you love them for who they are as individuals. In exploring parenting tips, making each of your children feel special builds within them a sense of confidence.

4. Continually remind them of their significance to you and God. This can be done with a kind word in the morning or a quick devotional thought over dinner. Find natural opportunities to share.

5. Help them discover their calling in life. When you detect that your child is drawn to a certain sport, talent or academic interest, encourage them to pursue it – and do what you can to fuel their development.

6. Listen to your language. Do you use phrases that are condemning or judgmental, like “How could you do that?” “What’s your problem?” or “Can’t you do anything right?” If so, stop the negativity.

7. Be affectionate. Hug and kiss your kids. And remember: Fathers need to be affectionate with their sons as well as their daughters.

8. Give them opportunity to make mistakes. A bird never learns to fly without a few falls out the nest. Especially in dealing with teenagers, learn to trust God with your teen and let them fail when it is necessary. Don’t equate mistakes with sin.

9. Pray for them. In addition to the previous parenting tips, I want to encourage you to keep a prayer journal. Be sure to record the ways you see God working in your children. Take advantage of opportunities to pray with them and for them.

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When it came to parenting teens, in no way were Bonnie and I perfect parents. In addition, were not the perfect family, but we were healthy – there’s a big difference between the two. Healthy parents know what their purpose is. It is parenting with this sense of purpose that becomes the first step in making a difference in the lives of our teenagers. If we know what our purpose is and where we want to go, then as we journey through the path of parenthood, we are able to make “course corrections” when needed. The following are what I consider vital principles to staying on course and parenting teenagers with a clear purpose.

1. Create an environment of unconditional love and aceptance. It is important to create an atmosphere in which your teenager experiences unconditional love. Three characteristics of love are acceptance, understanding and commitment. The opposite of these is judgment, rejection and manipulation.

Manipulation loves the end result – the change of behavior – more than the person. The goal of “conditional love” is seeing our teen’s behavior change instead of seeing them changed.

Often times, when we love conditionally, our hope is that our teen’s desire for our acceptance will be strong enough to cause them to change their behavior. Inadvertently, we are training them to live for the acceptance of others.

2. Reward honesty. When our children were teenagers, we explained that if they were honest by either telling us the truth when confronted, or confess a wrongdoing to us, their punishment would be less severe. This approach accomplishes two things. (1) It helps teenagers see the benefit of honesty; and (2) it facilitates open communication.

When parenting teens, another thing that is helpful is creating an environment of honest communication. Often this starts with we as parents being willing to admit when we are wrong. As long as we project the impression we have it all together, our teenagers will not be open about their struggles. In addition, establishing open lines of communication allows us to maintain influence during this precarious season of our teenager’s lives.

3. Avoid bringing up the past. Reminding your teen of past wrong doings results in keeping a ledger of failure. When we bring up the past in order to drive home a point, we are poisoning our teenager’s hearts with shame. This communicates to our teens that we are defining who they are by what they have done. The result is despair. There is no way they can undo their mistakes.

This is where it is important to remember the love-giving act of forgiveness. Forgiveness declares that mercy is greater than the mistake. Forgiveness expresses the value of the person is greater than the sin. Forgiveness erases the ledger and refuses to relate to our teenagers with regard to their failures.

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